We are
expecting
A life-changing event
Pregnancy and motherhood
Regardless of her social and cultural position, sexual orientation or age, whether it is the first pregnancy, this particular moment in a woman’s life represents an unparalleled set of thoughts, emotions and physical sensations that will make her a different person. Ten minutes on the internet, direct or indirect life experiences, films, books, readings, training courses, and workshops are enough to understand the amount of support given to a pregnant woman. It is manifold, from the assistance that family and friends provide to the health specialists dedicated to her. In Germany, for example, insurance covers the costs of taking a mother and her child to specialised holiday centres. In addition, through various activities ranging from massages to yoga, The mother can recover from the stress that motherhood brings while children are having fun.
I should feel happy, but depression instead is the prevailing feeling. Is this normal?
Pregnancy and fatherhood
However, sometimes it is more challenging to realise how complex it is also for a father, or future father, to cope with the pregnancy of the partner, the waiting period, the birth itself and all the changes that the arrival of a child entails. The fact that a father does not carry his future child for nine months does not mean that this waiting period does not affect his physical and mental state. Indeed, a father will never experience the physical pain that childbirth gives, but whether he decides to be present at the labour and delivery or whether he stays waiting in a hospital room, alone or with company, does not mean that these endless moments have no impact on him. Seeing a loved one suffer also takes its part. Later, the first months of a child’s life represent a considerable change in the daily life of both mother and father. For instance, everyone has probably experienced how much sleep loss can disrupt or affect the mood. In the long run, it can change the personality.
The siblings of my newborn have behaviour that I cannot manage. What can I do?
Pregnancy and family
Without detracting from the sacredness of the mother-child relationship, therapy over the years forced me to reflect on the cruciality of the father-child relationship to which, at times, we do not devote the proper attention. Also, one could add a further aspect, namely, looking at pregnancy and childbirth as a family event in which taking care of all the members (not to forget possible brothers and sisters) and the couple’s relationship. Finally, if we think about the meaning of family today (gay couples, adoption, single motherhood or fatherhood, etc.), a newborn will add complexity.
The therapist can help to regain possession of oneself. Being a parent forces every day to focus on the child’s needs. However, becoming a parent is also a process in which a new identity must be shaped. I was another person, now I am a mother (or a father), and I wonder where that person went. Who am I? What does being a mother (or a father) mean to me?
Contact Me
Please feel free to email me directly at hello@heididinicola.com or fill out the contact form below. I will get back to you as soon as possible, usually within 24/48 hours during weekdays.
I look forward to hearing from you.